You are not a better person if you are thin!

 When I lost weight I got so much attention, praise and validation. People really treat you differently - it felt like the promise weight loss makes to everyone- your life feels so much happier and better! It really was for a while ... and then it wasn’t.

It only lasts for so long and then it just becomes so much worse because now you have the huge pressure to maintain it and not be a failure. People tell you "you’re such a motivation" and "you're a real inspiration" and now you feel like you have to live up to other people’s expectations of that person.

Society has completely bought into the idea that you’re a better person if you’re smaller. This is what most females learn and internalize.

It has permeated our culture and it is something that most people have internalized and perpetuate either knowingly by actively participating in it or maybe subconsciously.

The problem is I truly believed that, but then I was a smaller person and ... I was the same person. The reality is you’re not a better person based off of how big or small you are. Our bodies are being objectified and judged based off of some cultural beauty standard that isn’t actually attainable for the majority of our population.  We think that we are better people and worthy of more respect if our body is thin, so we all work really hard to try to fit that thin ideal. We diet, and we exercise. We spend money on cosmetic surgery. We search for the latest fashions that have control top to make our stomachs appear flat. The industry that thrives around women's insecurities and their never ending search for body acceptance is a BILLION dollar industry. We spend so much time, energy, money, and mental happiness on the pursuit of thinness because we think that it will make us somehow happier or better. I am proof that it actually doesn't. Living your life to fit the body ideal is not going to end in happiness. Working to be thin, fit, and trying to mold your body into being as attractive as possible isn’t actually making you feel good in your body or your mind. Society thinks thinness is the ideal but body diversity is a beautiful thing. We are not all genetically built to look the same. The amount of stress and pain that we put ourselves through in the pursuit of thinness is destroying our mental health.  

Women are told their body is currency and unless they adhere to certain beauty standards they won’t get respect or power. We silently fear that people will see we just don’t measure up and we get shamed into adhering to the standard and we constantly hustle for our worthiness. Dump the cultural ideal that beauty is what makes our bodies valuable and understand that being true to who we are and just existing is the true value of life. 

Dieting is a giant distraction! It’s a constant buzzing in your mind, a running to-do list you can’t turn off, an endless commentary on everything you eat, how your clothes fit, and when your next workout is going to be. 

 

Women are force fed this belief that we should intentionally be pursuing thinness. The habits and behaviors required for constant daily weight suppression are not how I want to spend my life. I am more than a body to be looked at an assessed as sexy or beautiful. When we buy into diet culture we also tell everyone that it is ok for females to be objectified.

 

Thinness is not synonymous with health and it’s completely about appearances. The wellness culture and trying to strive for health and not weight-loss - is BULLSHIT. It is definitely just another way to diet and adhere to the thin ideal. Health is not a weight or a size and even if it is, it is not a moral obligation either FYI!

I also find it pretty crazy that people make a lot of assumptions about someones health simply based off of how they look. You can be thin and have a ton of health issues, but nobody really cares because you look skinny. You can also be in a bigger body and have perfect health, but people assume you're probably at a risk for high blood pressure or diabetes because you're fat.

If you are really concerned about being healthy then you will stop finding ways to restrict your food, end your disordered relationship with food and exercise and stop talking to yourself like you're a piece of shit for the size your body is.

This is something I have really been working towards letting go of, but it is really hard not to feel the desire to actively try to lose weight. I have spent 90% of my life thinking my main problem to solve was the size of my body and that once I had the right body my life would be perfect. I have been on diets and been obsessed with my weight since I was probably 8 years old. I felt like the biggest accomplishment I made in my life was when I lost 140 pounds. Like I finally did it! I finally proved I am worthy of love and respect. Bottom line - I was worthy of love and respect at 8 years old when I was made to feel fat and taught to restrict food to be better. I was worthy of love and respect when I was 280 pounds and made to feel by society and cultural expectations that I shouldn't be. I have gained back weight since letting go of food restrictions and lightening up on the amount of time I spend working out, but when I see my body get bigger I question if I am making a wrong choice. I know that this is because diet culture forces are all around us and that I still hear the pursuit of thinness is something the majority of women are still buying into. I can decide to let go. I want to let go. I want to accept myself no matter how I look or what I weigh. I know that my worth and purpose are about so much more than the way I look.

I choose to have a purpose above self objectification.